Hello, friends! I’m so happy to be here today and to share my latest ponderings. One of the best perks about my job (besides looking at eye candy for inspiration) is thinking about sex in every possible way. Today I was thinking about the most uncomfortable places to have sex. Here are a few I came up with.
Against a tree—besides Lyme’s Disease-carrying ticks, you might be in for some major chafing from the bark. Or apples might fall on your head. While you’re in the throes of ecstasy, a bird might let loose above you, splattering you with something nasty. Or hell, the whole naked-in-the-outdoors might make the whole experience more exciting than ever!
In a public restroom—While I know a lot of people who do this, say at a club or at a restaurant, I find public restrooms to be sooo gross. I personally don’t find it sexy to be thrown against a filthy tile wall that may be coated in God knows what! And the thought of being bent over one of those toilets… *shudder* If you’ve had a good experience in a public restroom, I’d love to hear from you. Please persuade me to give this a try!
In a car—We’ve all had a go in a car. But we have to be contortionists to get around gear shifts that are sticking in your side or keep your head from slamming repeatedly off the window. The back seat is slightly more comfortable, and if you have the ability to flip down seats, all the better!
On the stairs—I’ve read books with characters who have sex on the stairs, but if you’ve ever tried it, it hurts. Treads digging into your back, and it’s impossible to get that perfect angle that hits the perfect spot. Maybe taking it from behind is best in this case.
Anywhere with a loose pet—there’s that uncomfortable moment where there’s a tongue on your thigh that is not your partner’s. You know what I mean?
In a barn—Itchy hay in all the wrong places. Then again, romping with a sexy cowboy would make up for the rash, yes?
Where are some places that you’ve had uncomfortable sex? I’d love to hear from you! One lucky commenter will win a deck of Ellora’s Cave Romance Trading Cards, so please leave a comment!
I’ll also leave you with a short excerpt from my upcoming 12-12-12 release CONTROLLED BURN-Firehouse 5 series book 2. Enjoy!
Fire Chief Pearce Johnson has been struggling with his attraction to fellow team member and special ops guy Mitch Morelli. In the sauna, long looks turn into a steamy self-love encounter. Pearce runs home and tells his wife of fifteen years all about it—resulting in a five-alarm blaze between them.
Ellie has always suspected her husband would crave another relationship with a man. When he brings Mitch into their fantasies, she encourages Pearce to explore this newfound sexual link even as she longs for the big Italian firefighter to visit their bed. But taming two firemen might be tougher than she thinks.
Mitch can’t get enough of his rugged chief and Ellie’s femininity. But on the job, his boss pushes him away and purposely avoids working with him. Wounded, Mitch is finished trying to see his lover’s point of view, until one perilous event makes them all wake up and realize love is too precious to ignore.
Excerpt RATED STEAMING PANTIES ADULT:
At the familiar jangle of her husband’s keys in the lock, a tingle shot down Ellie’s spine. She flipped open the satin flap of her robe and let her thighs fall apart slightly, hoping to offer Pearce an enticing view after a hard day at Firehouse 5.
His muscled shoulder appeared through the crack in the door and the rest of his bulky form followed. Her libido kicked into overdrive. For four days, he’d been working back-to-back shifts and she’d been out of her mind with need. If tonight fell through, she was going to stow away in his locker and pop out like a Wife Surprise.
She let him adjust to dim glow of the candlelight. His gaze locked on her and immediate want flashed behind his hazel eyes. The heavy items he’d been holding thudded as he dropped them to the floor.
His chest rumbled. “Mmm. I see I get dessert before the main course.”
Her nipples bunched at that growl, eager to feel his mouth humming against her flesh. “Baby, you get anything you want.”
Something dark slid behind his eyes and he dropped his attention to his steel-toed boots. He bent to unlace them and toed them off.
Ellie waited, pulse racing. Damn, she hoped he was seriously up to pouring himself into a night of lovemaking. She couldn’t wait anymore and the collection of toys he’d given her to satisfy her bodily wants while he captained the biggest firehouse in the city wasn’t doing the trick anymore. She needed a real man between her legs—she needed Pearce.
He straightened up and met her gaze. Her breath caught half in, half out as she noted that smolder in his eyes. Everything in her demanded she get up and cross the room to him, throw herself in his strong arms and seduce him right out of his tighty whities.
But tonight he was going to come after her. She deserved it, after he’d made her wait.
A trickle of cream escaped her tight folds and oozed down her inner thigh. She spread her legs farther to allow him a glimpse.
Right on cue, he groaned. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Damn, woman, you’ve been waiting for me.”
“Been thinking about you for days.” She crooked a finger and he started forward as if on an invisible puppet thread.
Her heart raced faster as he neared. His thigh muscles bulged beneath his snug-fitting jeans and the top two buttons of his shirt were open, giving her a hint of man chest. Heaviness weighed in her core.
“Darlin’, I’ve been dying to get home to you too.” He plucked her off the sofa and sank to the cushions in one swift movement. She found herself cradled on his lap, legs dangling over one thick thigh and her pussy against his bulging erection.
She wriggled and snaked her arms around his neck. Even after fifteen years of marriage, he was all she wanted. She lived, ate and breathed Pearce Johnson. Long ago, when she’d discovered she couldn’t have his babies, she’d decided she’d been gifted with an amazing man and she’d make the most of every minute. Lately, however, she’d felt a strain in him—a strain she hoped was simply fatigue from working long, stressful hours.
Hopefully tonight would bring him some ease.
A husband + a wife + a hunky Italian firefighter = Five Alarm Blaze. CONTROLLED BURN by Em Petrova http://www.jasminejade.com/p-10559-controlled-burn.aspx
~where words mean so much more~