When friends become lovers – is it a good idea?

My latest erotic romance release explores the theme of friends who become lovers and it got me thinking – is friendship really the best place to kick start a romantic relationship? Or is sex with a friend ultimately the quickest way to ruin a good friendship?

In SEX CLUB SECRETS (GODS OF LOVE 3), best friends Ella and Kade are given a helping hand toward love by Anteros, the god of unrequited love. But even with the help of an ancient god, the transition from friend to lover is not without its difficulties. Bisexual hero, Kade, is torn in two directions:

Sex Club Secrets

Jesus, God, it was like his ultimate sexual fantasy right here, seeing the two halves of his craving come together in one divine moment. Pure muscle, masculine strength, and an exciting, rock-hard body on the one side, and the familiar softness and femininity of the woman he wanted to love and cherish on the other.

But the exquisite beauty he found in the couple before him was the very reason he hadn’t spoken up before now. How could he commit to any sort of relationship with Ella if his orientation meant he might never be completely fulfilled? How can I be sure I’ll be faithful, if we end up together? How can I put her through that hurt if I can’t help but stray from the straight path? He couldn’t put her in that situation. It was just too unfair.

He leaned forward and touched the glass, spreading his fingers wide against the cool surface and wishing instead he could touch the heat of those rose-colored nipples.

What would it feel like to take one of Ella’s breasts into his mouth? What would she taste like? He ached to suckle on his friend, run his tongue over her skin, inhale her perfume and hear her moan in the way he’d been imagining in his dreams almost every night for the past few months.

Like my heroine Ella, I believe that friendship can be a beautiful place from which to build a sexual relationship. You go into it knowing the other person really well, aware that they also know the “real” you so you don’t have to pretend to be anything bigger, better, or different than what you are. Ella says at one point in the story:

I know what he is, Anteros, and I love him anyway.

If you’re already friends then presumably you have a head start on good communication, compatibility and a genuine liking for the other person – all key ingredients for a successful romantic relationship.

What do you think?

Should friends stay…just friends, for fear of losing something valuable? Or is friendship the perfect base from which to build a quality, lasting romantic relationship? Please leave a comment – we’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Want a copy of SEX CLUB SECRETS for your Kindle, ebook reader, PC or iPad? Find it here:

Amazon (Kindle)

Smashwords (EPUB, PDF or Kindle)

All Romance ebooks (Kindle, EPUB or PDF)

Apple iTunes store (for iPad, iPhone, iPod)

About the author

Jennifer Lynne writes sensual and erotic romance including the popular GODS OF LOVE series. PLATINUM PASSION (GODS OF LOVE #1) was a Best Book of 2011 nominee in GLBT Fantasy Romance at The Romance Reviews and Dec 2012 Book of the Month nominee at The TBR Pile. APHRODITE CALLING (GODS OF LOVE #2) was a Book of the Month nominee at LASR and an Honorable Mention in the Rainbow Awards 2012. SEX CLUB SECRETS, the third instalment in the series, is out now.

Find out more at Jennifer’s website.

4 thoughts on “When friends become lovers – is it a good idea?

  1. It worked for me too! My husband and his roommate became my good friends when I started college and was dealing with a bad relationship leftover from high school. When that ended, we dated. So it was friends first, and a rebound, which ‘never works.’ And here we, 20+ years later, still happily married!

  2. Hi Marika, thanks so much for stopping by, and for sharing your story. I am sorry it didn’t work out romantically for you and your friend from childhood, but happy to hear you are married to your best friend. I was friends with my current husband, who I married last year, for some time before we became romantic. When things were difficult in my life he made me laugh, and our friendship was a great base on which to build something more. I know it doesn’t always work out that way, but for us we were lucky.

    Thanks for commenting, Marika.

  3. Great post Jennifer. I married by best friend and have been happily married for over 8 years now.

    That said, I slept with my best friend in my 20’s and it ruined our relationship. I met him at camp when we were 10 years old and had the biggest crush on him growing up. We were glued to the hip and with me, lusting for him wasn’t good. One night we did it and to say I disappointed would be an understatement. Sex ruined our relationship. Some 20 years later, I still think about him from time to time and I miss him.


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